how to deal

I woke up this morning with my Facebook feed once again filled with thoughts and prayers and horror over what just happened in our beautiful state (the last time being the fire).

And there it is, splashed across the front page of every news site.

I couldn't stop saying "ohmygod ohmygod". Because really, what else is there to say?

And it's eery because the rest of the posts on Facebook were about friends going to see the movie. Different theater, different town. But still, too close for comfort. Way too close.

So I'm sitting here asking myself what I do now.

My life can't, won't, stop. That's not how it works.

And I am fortunate enough to not personally know any of the families affected. But that doesn't mean they aren't in shock and pain.

My life won't stop. Even though it feels like it should. The world keeps going.

As I see it, I have two choices.

Try to make the world stop. Hole up at home and obsessively read the news. Refuse to go anywhere. Talk about it ceaselessly. Mourn the loss of 12 wonderful human beings.

Or I can go out and return that dress. I can drive with the windows open and play the radio a little louder than usual. I can keep going with my life. But in the quiet moments, in-between songs, I'll stop. Stop to remember the ones who are no longer living this life. And stop to send a wish for comfort, for peace, for something, to all the families and people affected.

I can live my life; what else is there to do?