Sunday, September 25, 2011

Weekly Winners: Balloons

These balloons enthralled me. Their colors, the ribbons, the way they bounced together on the ceiling. I just wish I had been able to take them outside and get their brilliant colors against a bright blue sky.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Weekly Winners

Friday morning greeted me with a lovely sun, and a tree that had this amazing misty/ fog swirling around it. I fell in love; what a great way to start the day!

Friday, September 16, 2011

Powerful Beyond Measure

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

-Marianne Williamson

I love this quote. Even when it's not completely true, or doesn't feel true. A lot of times I'm working to convince myself I'm doing okay at this thing called life, and I can't comprehend the 'powerful beyond measure' bit. 

I don't believe in God, yet I love the line 'We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us'. For me, it doesn't necessarily have to be a God that I go to church to worship, or believe that is above us all, with a divine plan. It can be the beauty and perfection and imperfection of nature. The innate power that lives within each of us, allowing us to do and be much more than we ever thought possible. I don't believe we are meant to do anything; I believe in free choice. Yet I still love this line, because we, each of us, has something special within us. And we can chose to use this gift or talent to better the world around us.

I love this quote. For so many reasons. But mostly I love the way these simple words are put together in a way that makes them so powerful and strong. In such a way that I feel like they're speaking right to me.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Bad Teacher

I have a bad teacher.

It happens. A lot, unfortunately.

For me, though, this is a first.

This is a subject I am already interested in.

I love it. I'm passionate about it. I'm thinking about a career in it.

I've never had this passion before.

Before I met the teacher. Usually it's as the result of a teacher that I love a subject.

So this year, I was so excited to finally be taking Anatomy.

Because I love it and just want to learn more more more.

And I'm scared that having a bad teacher is going to turn me off, somehow.

I'm scared because my record of being able to separate the teacher from the class is poor. As in very, very bad.

I love this. I don't want to lose it. Or have my passion for it sucked out of me by a bad teacher.

What do I do?

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Ten Years

Ten years.

More than half of my life.

It's always been there.

I don't remember it not being there.

It would have been just a normal day. One that blended into all my other memories of first grade. But it's that outside event that makes that day memorable.

Although really, I think that day only has significance in retrospect, because I was much too young to have any idea what was going on. I just knew that about half our class left. We were all sitting on the floor with the teacher reading to us. The secretary kept coming on over the loudspeaker saying another parent was there to pick up their child. The teacher seemed slightly on edge. Or maybe I'm just making that up. I think all the teachers were glued to the TV during lunch.

On the anniversary in 7th grade we watched documentaries. That was the first time I had really watched any footage or heard any stories. The first time I really thought about it. That I actually gave it time to sink in.

Sitting at that desk as my friends bustled around me, excited for lunch. Tears in my eyes, a heavy lump in my gut. Trying to process, trying to understand.

That, for me, is much more meaningful than the same date, five years earlier.

Since then, I've learned the facts. Statistics. Conspiracy theories. Implications.

Still, every time I open the Wikipedia page on 9/11 (because so many things are linked and connected to that date), I pause.

I take a second out of my busy day to sit. Let it sink in. To remember that 3000 is more than just a number; they were lives.

I look at the images of smoke, flames, rubble, and charred plane bits. And I remember. The lives lost, the wars waged, the lives still in peril, and and same issues that still plague our world. 

Weekly Winners

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Two Days

I stayed home yesterday. What I probably should have done on Tuesday. But that's okay; this time, it worked out to do it a day later.

Note to self: In general, I'm not that lucky. Not listening to my body today means two days home sick later.

But this time, it worked out.

I went on Tuesday.

I survived the dullest Spanish class quite possibly ever, an hour and a half of doing homework and organizing the contacts on my phone, and then a worthless half hour meeting at which I learned nothing.

Then I came home and spent most of the night with my head horizontal.

Today I didn't go.

I stayed home. I took my contacts out two minutes after I put them in because they were being mean and having a cold makes my eyes cranky.

I look very different in glasses.

I spent the whole day in PJ pants and my old ratty hoodie. The heat came on for the first time. I love the sound of the furnace starting up. How I can hear the heat rushing through the pipes.

It was a good rest day.

One of many Kleenex, some homework, lots of music, and very little movement beyond the couch.

Today will be a better day. One where I feel good enough to do more than lie on the couch all day. And one that I don't have to survive.

Monday, September 5, 2011


"Hear the music/Before the song is over"

Good words. Words to remember.

More than those specific words, it's their sentiment, their meaning.

To slow down. Relish the small triumphs. Soak in the peace between whatever tasks fill your day. Find joy in the little things.

It all adds up to living in the moment.

However you want to say it.

I think there are never enough ways to say it.

I am always filled with good intentions. To do better, be better. But it is so easy to let the little joyful moments pass you by because you're so wrapped up in your daily struggles.

Struggles that have always and will always exist. It's how you choose to deal with them, and find the balance, that matters.

The second I feel like I might have glimpsed it, that blissful place of having it all perfectly balanced, something new comes along.

Disrupting my zen.

It's an endless cycle.

The ups. And the downs.

Anyone can live them. Survive them.

But to do more, to find joy in the midst of a huge cloud of negativity, that what we're all searching for.

To find a way to really live.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Slow Dance

I didn't write this. I received this from a forwarded email, and I think it's beautiful, and a good reminder.

Have you ever
watched kids

On a merry-go-round?

Or listened to
the rain

Slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a
butterfly's erratic flight?

Or gazed at the sun into the fading

You better slow down.

Don't dance so

Time is short.

The music won't

Do you run through each day

On the

When you ask How are you?

Do you hear the

When the day is done

Do you lie in your

With the next hundred chores

Running through
your head?

You'd better slow down

Don't dance so

Time is short.

The music won't

Ever told your child,

We'll do it

And in your haste,

Not see


Ever lost touch,

Let a good
friendship die

Cause you never had time

To call
and say,'Hi'

You'd better slow down.

Don't dance
so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't

When you run so fast to get somewhere

miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry
through your day,

It is like an unopened

Thrown away.

Life is not a

Do take it slower

Hear the

Before the song is over.