Sunday, March 27, 2011

Weekly Winners: Camera Issues

My camera has decided that when it is tired, it should feel free to shut down without notifying me. This started five days ago, without any warning. It will just completely shut down in the middle of whatever I am doing (taking pictures or in the review mode), the screen goes blank, it won't focus, or take pictures. The trouble-shooting guide from Canon was not helpful-I tried taking out the battery and card, recharging, letting it sit, bribing it with candy....I was able to get all my pictures off, with some coaxing, but I'm not sure what to try next. Ideas? (It's a Canon Rebel EOS XS.)

 Ladies and gentlemen, we have lift-off

Mmmm....airport food

Drying out

So, so green

Still closed

Fences are everywhere

A natural fan

Strangely misshapen

Reaching to the sky

Tiny and hiding


Delicately curled

My travel companions

Through the clouds

Trying to green-up our lawn

Thursday, March 24, 2011

What I Did While I Was Gone

I learned my ipod battery doesn't really last six days.
I inverted an umbrella for the first time.
I hung off the side of a cable car.
I scared a seagull.
I walked until my joints ached.
I returned to the crepe place.
I didn't return to the doctor's office.
I discovered a picnic table that I want to come back to and eat a picnic at.
I took pictures.
I got glared at, but mostly saw smiles.
I stood out as a tourist, despite my best efforts.
I bought one scarf.
I got wet feet.
I spent a lot of time in airports.
I got home at 3 am.
I don't think I lost anything.
I still wrote everyday.
I took pictures everyday, more or less.
I missed my cat.
I walked through Chinatown and really stood out as a tourist.
I saw beggers.
I wore eleven pairs of socks.
I stayed a little organized.
I brought back more than I went with.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Saturday, March 12, 2011


It's been a rough week. Nothing specific, just, stuff.

I don't like who I've been this week. I haven't been taking the time to be with me. Just be, and think, and reflect. I always seem to be doing homework, or watching Jeopardy, or texting, or reading blogs. But I haven't been taking the time, or making the time, to write on my own blog. When I sit down at night with my journal, it's because it's part of my routine (and I like me my routines), not because I have anything to say.

Even though it's been an intense week, I haven't taken the time to try to make it less intense. I seem to just keep going, trying to tick things off my to-do list.

So this morning I sat myself down, and looked at blogs, and read emails, read the news, and now I am sitting and writing.

I don't like when I don't take the time for me, because I know how much I need that time. This week might have been different had I made the time. But I didn't.

I will do better.

That's the most I can promise myself.

That I will try harder, to do and be better. I can't promise any more, because any more would be approaching perfection. I have no illusions about me and perfection.

I will spend time today with my camera. I will make ice cream pie with my mom. I will be. I won't jump up to turn on the radio to fill the silence.

Silence is good.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011


I have many, many stories that are half finished.

I have never been good at endings. I can't see them coming, I don't know how to act when they are upon me, and I don't know how to recover from them and go find a beginning.

Endings are tough to survive and tough to anticipate, so it makes sense they are tough to write.

Expected or otherwise, endings have a tendency to leave scars. They mark the finish to a part of your life. The longer or bigger that part was, the deeper the scar.

They don't have to leave scars. Sometimes an ending is the best thing that could possibly happen.

And sometimes the ending is the most painful way, but it's the only way. Nothing can last. Impermanence and change are parts of life. Even knowing they are coming doesn't make them any easier.

Fairy tale endings rarely come out of the tales and wrap our real lives up so nicely with such pretty ribbon. The endings we are shown in movies are not true endings. They are the happy places the writers chose to end the story. But a true ending means something is over, done. Too often, the end of a movie shows us the beginning. The newly wedded couple, off to begin a new life together.

They have endured and survived countless endings to get to that point. A point in their lives where they are healed enough to embark on a new beginning that will have an ending of its own. No one knows what that ending will be, but they have the hope and the love to take the risk that the ending will be a peaceful one, many years in the future.

As I'm still figuring out endings and scars and threads left hanging, my characters are left hanging in limbo, endless. It gives them countless possibilities, but it also make them very fictional. Very one-dimensional. Because everyone experiences endings, in one form or another, in their life. My characters cannot live, cannot spring to life, until they figure out their endings.

Until I figure out their endings.

Sunday, March 6, 2011