Thursday, April 28, 2011

Minus Two Hours of Sleep

This morning my body decided it would be appropriate to wake up two hours earlier than the scheduled time. Which is really much too early. I have decided it must be the light, because the light I can fix. I will get one of those eye-cover contraptions and be all sleepy like a normal person.

But today I am awake. I wish I could say I had been productive, but really, I haven't.

I ate breakfast. Like usual. Except for the two hours earlier part. And I started a new book. One that I know I have pretty much no chance of finishing in the two weeks the library gives me.

I did math homework. And by did, I mean I spent five minutes on each problem, banging my head on the table and trying to figure out ways in which I could convince my tutor that the book has multiple typos, and therefore I am actually correct.

I turned on the computer and attempted to restart it, which took about 29 minutes. But I did get to read The Economist, which makes me feel smart.

I uploaded some pictures from my camera to the computer, after which I discovered that the vast majority were out of focus and pretty terrible.

I emailed a few people. I guess that counts as semi-productive.

And now I am here. After reading about Haven's  early morning, which inspired me to write this post. Which I'm pretty sure is completely nonsensical and definitely does not get a check under the "productive" column.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Wednesday, April 20, 2011


It comes and goes.
The difference between a blurry view
and a clear one.
Allowing me to see.
A pinprick in the distance gives me hope.
Its absence can be frightening.
Unable to see.
Unable to move.
Unable to tell if I am still here.
A sudden burst illuminates the world.
Harshly, lacking shadows.
It cannot lie.
Unmasking what was hidden beneath
the darkness.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Thursday, April 14, 2011


They are gone.

I never looked for them, or verified their existence, I just assumed they existed and would always stick around.

I didn't think about them, but now that I know they're gone, I realize I need them.

I need to know what that piece of paper said. I need to remember the look on his face when he gave it to me. They are such small things, inconsequential details, but they are the little bits that make up my history.

They're gone. No gradual fading, or blurry pictures of that scene. Just the knowledge that that scene existed.

That should be enough, but it's the small things, the details, the smells, the pictures on the wall, that make the memory whole. Those are the things I don't have, and they're the things that would keep me from doubting myself.

Because I know that it happened. But did it?

Monday, April 11, 2011

Random Any Day Thoughts

So The Un Mom is currently taking a hiatus from Random Tuesday Thoughts. Even though there are still places for me to link my random thoughts and make them all official, I have decided that it means I can be random any day of the week.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

The last Harry Potter movie is coming out July 15. I have said since forever that I want to go to the midnight premiere of the last movie. And now it looks like it might actually happen!

I spent about 32 hours organizing my Flickr page  last weekend. You will be relieved to learn that all my photos are now tagged and sorted just as I want them to be. At least for a month or so. Then I'll spend another 59 hours reorganizing and undoing all of last weekend's work.

I have always wanted to learn Morse Code. This may or may not happen, mostly because I'm lazy and it would take time and effort, and less because I doubt I would ever have any use for it. But, if I do learn it and commit it to my long-term memory, and then I have to use it (because I'm stranded on a deserted island or something equally likely), it would totally make my day.

I watched The Amazing Race last night and was horrified by the team that shoved the guy out of his cab. Horrified. Maybe it's just me, but I think that's pretty low. And people wonder why Americans have such a bad reputation?

I was getting directions the other day. The woman told me to hang two rights. So I was down in the deep dark baement, and I hung two rights. And promptly got lost. So I was talking to myself (yes, I talk to myself) and saying "Maybe I hung too many rights...". And promptly got freaked out that someone would hear me talking to myself, in the scary, abandoned basement, and think I had just put a noose around somebody's neck and killed them. Lucky for me, the deep dark basement was pretty abandoned, so I am not currently suspected of any murders, by hanging or otherwise.

I am completely incapable of taking my pulse while doing anything other than sitting very, very still and staring at a clock.

I should really be doing research on reflective essays right now

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Weekly Winners: Spring

I am finally conceding that it is Spring. In so many ways I am not ready, but I did love spending more time outside with my camera than inside.

First daffodil

Winter survivor



I cannot get over the green-ness of the world

Greeting the world

Hidden between the brown

Set against a big blue sky

Tuesday, April 5, 2011


I am...

looking forward to a trip to see a friend I've seen once in the past four years.

enjoying my second consecutive day of no tutoring, due to a sick tutor.

loving feeling more like a teen-adult than a teen-child.

so excited for summer.

reading a few really good books.

thrilled with my SAT scores.

still going to take them again.

so relieved my camera is okay.

getting my wisdom teeth out (all four!) taken out the first day of summer.

finding myself looking forward to volunteering at the hospital every week.

in a pretty good mood.

I am not...

excited for the constant heat that summer brings.

feeling overly creative, hence the list writing.

giving you permission to tell your wisdom teeth horror stories. At least for another seven weeks.

finding myself very excited for art class.

able to move, because there is a cat on my lap.

feeling very good.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Weekly Winners: Good News

The good news: My camera is working again. I followed the instructions for Error 99 (even though I wasn't getting any error messages), and it is magically cured. Let's just hope it stays that way.
The bad news: My inspiration has been very lacking this week. So I haven't been putting my cured camera to much use.

 The season's first dandelion

Green leaves emerging from the brown

Green and his shadow

Building materials

Yellow tipped shoots

Knitting project

Tree buds