Being

It's been a rough week. Nothing specific, just, stuff.

I don't like who I've been this week. I haven't been taking the time to be with me. Just be, and think, and reflect. I always seem to be doing homework, or watching Jeopardy, or texting, or reading blogs. But I haven't been taking the time, or making the time, to write on my own blog. When I sit down at night with my journal, it's because it's part of my routine (and I like me my routines), not because I have anything to say.

Even though it's been an intense week, I haven't taken the time to try to make it less intense. I seem to just keep going, trying to tick things off my to-do list.

So this morning I sat myself down, and looked at blogs, and read emails, read the news, and now I am sitting and writing.

I don't like when I don't take the time for me, because I know how much I need that time. This week might have been different had I made the time. But I didn't.

I will do better.

That's the most I can promise myself.

That I will try harder, to do and be better. I can't promise any more, because any more would be approaching perfection. I have no illusions about me and perfection.

I will spend time today with my camera. I will make ice cream pie with my mom. I will be. I won't jump up to turn on the radio to fill the silence.

Silence is good.