Beloit

This map confuses me. I have no idea where we are. But that's not exactly new.

I finally find a street name on the map that I see out my window, but by the time I look up again, it's long gone. My dad makes an executive decision to park and just start exploring. The worthless map is left in the car; hopefully we won't be forever lost in the world of dorms and green grass.

I walk slowly. I'm telling myself it's so I have time to take it all in, but really, I'm just tired. I'm full of greasy pizza, ready to get to a hotel that I'm hoping has a comfortable pillow. I'm on my third, and thankfully last, campus, and sadly aware of how they are starting to blend.

I like Grinnell, not Knox, but the little details, the ones that seemed so important while I was there? They're fading. Already blurring with the beautiful flowers I see ahead of me. The brick buildings lining each side of the path I make my slow way down.

Greek letters adorn houses further behind me. A shiny new building catches the last remnants of the setting sun.

A long sidewalk leads me around behind a big building. It looks like the sports center, but I can't tell much from the uniform exterior. The sidewalk ends next to a busy road and a power plant. Clearly we've left the manicured side of campus, left behind the part that we, as visitors, are supposed to see.

The sidewalk feels long and slightly endless as we head back the same way we came.

Tomorrow I will see the poetry garden, with the cool shade offered by huge trees, strategically placed benches, and little gazebos tucked away. I will see the inside of the buildings, each with their own character and flair. I will talk to people who describe Beloit as the best place on earth, the perfect college.

I will smile and nod, knowing it's a sales pitch. I will be slightly turned off by the fact that I am getting a well-rehearsed show. All movements and voices carefully choreographed. I will remind myself that it is what it is, and try to focus on the positives.

The beautiful campus, the strong academics, the tales of welcoming people, the study abroad opportunities.

Yet I can't get away from the first feeling I had. That it's a great campus. A wonderful school. But it's not the right fit for me.