List of Hate

I am doing a project on Islamic Extremism and Terrorism.

I was on Wikipedia, a page called Terrorism in the United States.

A section on Terrorism Related to Islamic Extremism.

A list of terrorist attacks committed by Islamic extremists on US soil, against US civilians.

It was staggering.

I had heard about so few. But that's not the point.

There is so much hate in the world. So many people feel so strongly that their way is the right way, or that others people's way is wrong, that they feel they have to kill people.

Kill.

I sat at the computer with tears in my eyes.

So shocked and stunned by this list of hate.

I feel like a lot of the time I don't really feel or take time to absorb the news. Because it is constant and never-ending. Bus crashes, bombings, shootings, accidents, murders.

There is so much death and horror every day.

I've learned to not really absorb it, or even think about it.

I feel guilty, so guilty, for not giving those people my time or empathy. Yet I know I would lose my hope and potential for optimism if I let it all come rushing in. Because there is just so much. All the time.

But for some reason, that list hit me.

It came pouring in.

I was horrified.

For no small  part because I don't get it. I can't relate. Not that it's bad to not be able to relate to terrorists, but I just don't know where they're coming from. I have never felt that. I don't have beliefs or convictions so strong that I must create chaos to make other see. I don't hate with a passion that drives me to destruction.

I have opinions and beliefs, but I'm generally not stuck in stone about them. I may not change my mind, but I'll probably listen. But even when I listen to this, I can't relate. I can't relate to people who need to push their beliefs onto others. People who are so convinced that their way, and only their way, is right and true.

Unable to relate, combined with proof of people so different from me, so hateful and destructive, was sort of overwhelming.

I don't know what to do with that information. I can try to learn, to understand, although I think terrorism is, by its very nature, un-intelligible. I don't think I can understand people who blow up buildings to kill and destroy.